I dedicate this site to the memory of my stepdaughter, Heather, who was murdered on Thanksgiving 2017. I want to chronicle some of the events and spiritual insights that happened. It is my hope that this may help some other souls who stumble upon this site. Maybe some good can come off this after all (read more here).  ~ May 2018

A Dream: a Human Sacrifice

4/10/2019 7:15a.m. (entered into system 4/23/2019)

(note from 4/23/2019) I penned this article two weeks ago (4/10/2018), and struggled posting it and another one, as I am not sure everybody will understand it.  It is related to the more general question of humans making sacrifice, the ultimate sacrifice of their lives.  And when seen from this view that might even include the murder of my stepdaughter, a thought I struggle with so much...   So I wrote up my current thinking on Easter Sunday, because Jesus, too, made that sacrifice.  In encourage you to read that introduction first, as it gives a greater perspective on the theme of sacrifice.

This here is a follow up article to my write-up on Teotihuacan, the ancient city in Mexico.  Only recently did archeologists find an entrance to a secret underground ceremonial cave right under the Temple of the Feathered Serpent.  It became clear to me, that the whole layout of that city represents the human spirit ascending.  Starting from that cave on one end, representing birth, along the grand avenue towards the great pyramids of the sun and moon.

Human spirit,  ascending.

A very spiritual concept.  But whenever I look at the image of the Feathered Serpent, or others from that time and area, I always feel dread.  Bottomless dreads. I always wondered where it came from?

Last night an insight came to me in a dream. Or was it in a state of sleep, where thoughts easier arise?

The dream started with me seeing my mother.   She asked, “Are you ready for the next step?”  I said, yes.  “I will download it tonight to you,” she said.  I did not know that my mother, who never touched a computer in her life, had such modern day computer talk in her.  Nonetheless I  did receive something.

It was a name: Teo-tek, or TeA-tec, or maybe Teok-tex,  something like that.

In the dream, it was the name of young man, a child really, barely a juvenile, who was being marched down the avenue of the dead in Teotihuacan.  I knew immediately, he was one of the human sacrifices to be.  He was designated to be sacrificed, and eventually was.  

And he was scared.  I could feel his fear.  Really feel it.  It was my own dread. Bottomless fear, despair about the impending end. “Why me? What are these savages doing?  I don’t want to die.”

And I got another insight.

It lead me to realize, the analogy in yesterday’s post about Teotihuacan, about human spirit ascending,  from that new found cave and aptly symbolized in the very layout of the city itself…  that analogy did not end there.

The whole ceremony of human sacrifice as expressed by the layout of that city was another layer on top of that.

They would start a procession of the sacrificed-to-be. Often these were prisoners.  Maybe sometimes volunteers.  I can’t say if in groups or individuals.

But the procession would start at the Temple of the Winged Serpent – the main topic of yesterday’s article.  Having that newly found cave there, it represents the place of birth, both physically as well as inwardly and spiritually, the beginning of our journey.

The procession would make its way slowly up the Avenue of the Dead – thereby the name.  

And here,  quite literally is the fight of the winged serpent, connecting us from the our inner birth, ascending, towards the great pyramids at the opposite end, our death.

In my dream, the parade of the sacrifice proceeds down the vast street lined with onlookers.  Not jubilant onlookers.  Because they knew:  this is not merely some prisoner being punished. But that walk represents us, ourselves, our lives, the great journey.

And then up the stairs of the great pyramid, to the sun, to the moon, ascending, spirit ascending, ever higher.  It represents our own ascend, each person’s, each spirit’s, individual ascend to his or her death.

And beyond death!  The last step is the important one.   It is the release back into the Great from where we came.   It is not so much just a “gift to the gods,”  but becoming one with the Gods.

It is a metaphorical ascending, both physical (going up the pyramid) and spiritual.

So you see, the whole the whole layout of that city, and  the procession and subsequent sacrifice represents one process:  spiritual ascend.  Starting from that newly found cave below the Temple of the Serpent ( see previous article), the birth, towards the greater physical structure of the pyramids.   

It is all a metaphor for the same thing: spiritual ascending.  Us ascending. Inner voices becoming outer. Birth. Our journey. To death.  To release. And then a reunion with the greater. The great inner and outer  circle.

And in my dream I feel the pain.  The fear. Of that young Teok-tex, or whatever his name could had been.  A name being chanted in reference by the onlookers.  I felt his dread.

The same dread that grips me today when I see an artifact from that time and region.

And yet, while I write the above, I can’t say I don’t see a certain beauty behind the thought of that metaphor.

And that is the conflict I carry inside.  Of seeing a theoretical knowledge and beauty of what was tried to be expressed. But also the knowledge, the very feeling, of how terribly wrong it was expressed.  (the next article in this series will go into that).

In my dream, I feel both sides in me, of being the sacrifice, and understanding, if not being, the ones performing the sacrifice… in the belief they were honoring something greater.   Both sides are there in the dream.

So what is this all getting at?  A former life?  No.  I don’t believe in linear reincarnation no more.  Then maybe soul strands? That is, former or parallel lives (plural) that feed into my own at this moment?  Maybe.  Or was it really just a dream? Who is to say. Certainly I cannot. I don’t have the answers.

All I can say is that I carry that conflict within me, of seeing both sides, of being both sides.  I can see this now clearly.

And through my effort on resolving this in my dream, by seeing both sides, I am elevating my understanding to a higher level.  Hegel’s dialectic at work.

Strangely enough, after this dream, when I now look at the same images of the winged serpent that filled me with dread just the other day, I now see only curiosity.

Spirit ascending.

Teok-tex, or whatever your name may have been, all my selves are sending you love.  


Namaste — I bow to you and the Divine in you.

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