I dedicate this site to the memory of my stepdaughter, Heather, who was murdered on Thanksgiving 2017. I want to chronicle some of the events and spiritual insights that happened. It is my hope that this may help some other souls who stumble upon this site. Maybe some good can come off this after all (read more here).  ~ May 2018

Inner Voices: On finding your inner voices, tuning in to the right tension: At-Tension.

5/4/2019 6:35 a.m.

Hanns(H): Been awake since 5:30. Just lying there, mind racing, thinking ‘bout number theories and concepts, and levels of abstractions.  So may as well get up…   Raining. Not good weather to paint the house.

Inner Voice (V): Not that you mind. [Smirking]

H: HA, HA! Yeah.  
Pitter, patter, drop, drop, drop.
So I was going to take the day off from writing. But now that I am awake, anything to say?

V: Ask us a question.
H: Uff.  OK. So numbers. I have been thinking about it all morning.

V: Yes, and you got a lot worked out.  What specifically do you want to know?
[long pause...]
See, you can’t even think of a question yourself. So how do you want us to answer? [laughing]

H: That’s a good point.
[pause]

Maybe why is it, or why do you think, that your voice is not different?  Because I had instances where the voice was very distinct.

V: Aha.  So you wonder if we are real?!

H: Of course.
So anything to say on that?

V: Well, look, we can simulate any voice.  You know? Nowh, veh arh taalkin Ruassian [in Russian accent, laughing].  

The issue is also that you are writing it down [meaning: the time it takes to write this down on paper takes away from a dialogue a bit].

But specifically, the reason why you pick up a different voice, say with Heather, is because you knew her.
As a distinct person.

With us, we are a “we” that is a part of you.
So how are we supposed to sound?
Like a choir ?

Well, what is your normal voice then?
Your inner voice.
Would it not also be the same?
Because, you, we – it is always linked.

So, to not hear a different voice, TONALLY, that is completely normal.

It is only when you concentrate on a different singular “entity,” especially one that you know, like Heather, that this voice can come through as distinct.
Because, again, as we have told you before, we can only work with what is inside of you.

So, if you have that voice inside of you, we (or they or whatever) can speak through it, because it was their voice.

H: OK, I can see it.

[Got interrupted shortly; wife was asking something.  Now the next paragraph is with respect to my wife’s voice: ]

V: OK, then go with that.  [my wife’s voice]  Could you let us speak in, say, her voice?

H: But she is alive!

V: Ah, so you think that makes a difference?
The point is, we can only talk in a voice that is within you.
Say, Sean Connery – you like him, right?
So now [a smokey Scottish voice comes on] we can talk like Sean.  You know?
The voice is in you.

H: I see.

V: so are you making it up?
Sure!
And no!
It’s all the way you look at it.
The important point, though, is that it leads you to more insights.

[Thinking…. ]

H: So what about when I do pick up a distinct voice – like Heather?

V: You want us to get her on the line?

H: I’d love nothing more.

V/Heather [her voice and manner of talking, a bit]:  Hey, Hanns, what’s up?  Yeah, you know, it’s interesting. When you imagine me in my voice, you make it more real.  And it makes it easier for me to come through. It’s a bit between your memory and whatever you want to call this, me, here.

H: Not a good connection.  [not picking it up very distinct, compared to other times]

V/Heather: It is what it is.
But you are still learning.
Can’t expect this to work as well as with Frank [DeMarco], who has been doing this for 20 years.

Voice/All:  You are doing OK.
Just give it time.
Relax.
And learn.
For now, this is all you can expect.
We are training you. [laughing]

H: Not sure if I want to write this [here in the blog]

V: And you don’t have to…
But you just noticed something.   There is a slight different feeling to us.  Do you feel it?

H: Yes. Now I [as me, in my own voice in this sentence] am specking more relaxed, but you…

V: Yes, like a slight pressure up there over your eyes.

H: Third eye?  [laughing]

V: Hmm, maybe there is something to it after all?  [laughing]

H: I had not picked up on it.

V: Very subtle, isn’t it?

H: Hmm.
It’s like my concentration lifts “an inch” upwards in my head, a slight focusing on the region above my eyes.
I wonder what brain region is there? [I did not get anything back here, as to imply: it would not matter]
And feeling a very slight pressure there.
It probably is just the effect of focusing.  A slight pull on the eye muscles.

V: [smiling]  Whatever it is, it helps you, and it feels different.  Like “you” and “us” do have a different “feel” to it.

H: I’d say that is very true.
So the voice, tonally, does not have to change, but there is some change.
Very interesting.

V: You have to be very intuned.
Tuning.
Another word.  To tune in.
Like a fine instrument that has to be tuned.
A radio has to be tuned.
And tuning is a way to get tension right.
[Not too tight, not too loose].
Tension. Tensor.
Another word.
When you get the tension right, then it just flows.
Doesn’t it.

At-tension  [ underlined]

That is the whole secret.

Being able to put at-tension correctly.

And that takes practice.

You can’t expect to be a master over night.

So just keep practicing.

H: Wow, so much hidden in our words.

V: And it takes the right tuning, and at-tension to pick that up.

H: Wow. Much to think about.  Stop for today?

V: Seems like you want to.  We could go on for hours, but… your At-Tension is not holding up. So look up those words.

H: OK, thank you.


Afterwards, I looked up the words:

Tension:  from Latin ‘tendere’, to stretch,  from IE root *ten (see below):  to stretch

Tuning:  tune, a variant of tone.  From Greek ‘tonus,’  a string, stretching.  Also from IE root *ten: to stretch

So it is all about getting the right tension.  I had written already about it in the Steps, and referenced the story of the Buddha, when he reached enlightenment.  At least one version of that states that he overheard a musician instruct his pupil, the string has to have the right tension, not too tight or it will snap, not too loose or it will not sound, just right.  When he let go of the way of the strict ascetics and found the middle way, it all snapped into place, and he found enlightenment.

Namaste — I bow to you and the Divine in you.
~Hanns

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