I dedicate this site to the memory of my stepdaughter, Heather, who was murdered on Thanksgiving 2017. I want to chronicle some of the events and spiritual insights that happened. It is my hope that this may help some other souls who stumble upon this site. Maybe some good can come off this after all (read more here).  ~ May 2018

Inner voices: On Expectations and dropping expectations. Pitter, Patter, Singing in the rain

5/11/2019 5:50a.m.

Hanns (H): Sitting outside. A gray, misting morning at dawn. Rain is falling. At first, a light drizzle, then becoming steady.

Pitter. Patter.

Yet – the birds are chirping.  Dawn.  
The same crescendo, the same symphony of sounds, as if it were the brightest of sunshine at dawn.

Life all around me.
Singing – as usual.
Chirping, pitter, twitter, patter.

The birds don’t care: they greet life nonetheless.

To me, this gray, rainy, cool, misty morning would be anything but perfect.  To the birds it just is. A perfect day. Rain, giving water and life.

As I look up briefly, a thick cloud of mist makes its way through the valley.  Gray, yet somehow majestic.

I wonder, can I have a dialogue?  With whom?  About what?  And so I ask.

And I keep getting, as I have been for some minutes now, this sentence:

“What are you expecting?”

"Expect."  I look it up.  The underlying meaning is “to look out” for it ( ex- + spectare).

So, my club, or whoever puts that in my mind:  "expect."  What did I expect?

An inner Voice, very subtle (V):  You people are so funny. You go through life expecting.  As if life has to be a certain something.

Like this morning. Dawn. Rainy. Not like what you “hoped” for. Not “perfect.” Not what you expect.  Look for, look forward to.

And  if it is not so, you are disappointed. If life does not meet your expectations [underlined] (again that word), life is not “good.”

But here are the birds.
“Singing in the rain.”
And all is well.  To them it is all good.

H: Yeah.  “Singing in the rain.” I actually thought of that earlier. About Gene Kelly in that famous scene.  How he had a high fever, something like 104 degrees.  Yet, he gave an incredible performance.

V: Yes, do you think he was expecting it, to be so sick that day?
Hardly perfect.
Yet he gave a perfect performance.

It seems like you want to get Gene on the line.  Let us see, if we can get him.  [they are smiling, smirking, as if being sarcastic.]

H: Those rascals.
So Gene Kelly, my inner Gene Kelly?

Gene Kelly [as imagined]:  Yes, that was a hard day .  “Singing in the rain.” But I danced. And I was a dancer.  An actor, but a dancer.  Mostly a dancer.

Dance, that is movement. And as I started, every bone and muscle in my body hurt. But as I danced that day, in the rain, simulated rain, despite my fever, I connected with something greater.

Beauty expressed through movement.

And I could not help but to dance.  I just tapped into it. And once you are soaked [soaking wet], you are soaked. It can’t get any worse, so why not connect with it.

H: OK, that did not seem so real, the dialogue…

V: Because you don’t let it be.  You still don’t trust.  Gene is here.  As we all are.

But life is also here. Always.  
Your life.
But your expectations blocks you.  
They block the flow.

Yes, sometimes you need to focus.  That’s an expectation. That is a strong focused expectation, through which you conjure.  

[The meaning here was that it is a conscious act, done consciously, compared to what is said next: ]

But I am talking about a base “mood” of expectations, of “life has to be a certain way.” Good.  Perfect.

But life is just life.

Just like the birds, it is still a perfect morning to them.


Like that word the other day:  universal love is nonetheless.

So, don’t expect.  Let life simply flow. The good with the bad.

H: Basic Buddhism?

V: Well, some, yes, but it’s all so much simpler, actually.

H: Not sure what you mean?

V:  It’s as simple as “pitter, patter.”
Drops can make you sad – a gray, rainy morning.
Drops can make you happy – the blade of grass yearning to drink.
Drops are just drops.

Context sets the meaning.
Context comes out of expectations.
Expectations sets the context.
And thereby meaning.

Drop* your expectations, all expectations, and you have no context, and then you have pure Being.

That is Buddhism in a nutshell.

*[I only picked up on this as I transcribed my notes, but here the word ‘drop’ switched context.  Above, they used it as a noun, here as a  verb: to drop.  Thereby the word drop becomes a metaphor, literally:  Drops of rain leading to dropping expectations.  A nice thought, I think. ]

H:  Wow.

V: So if you have a strong reaction, adverse reaction, examine your expectations.

If you can loosen them, then again, you have play, to be and live more freely.

Let’s stop here.

H: OK, thank you.

Namaste — I bow to you and the Divine in you.

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