I dedicate this site to the memory of my stepdaughter, Heather, who was murdered on Thanksgiving 2017. I want to chronicle some of the events and spiritual insights that happened. It is my hope that this may help some other souls who stumble upon this site. Maybe some good can come off this after all (read more here).  ~ May 2018

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On time, desire, and the first distinction

How the first distinction sets time into motion, and how desire is a potential that is converted into physic movement towards or away from some object.

11/16/2019 8:40 a.m.

I’d like to talk about time once more.  Yesterday, in one of the books I am reading, it mentioned there can only be time if distinctions can be made.  If we were in a completely diffuse environment where we could not discern anything (including our thoughts), then how could we tell one moment from the next?  If there was no change at all, internal or external, how could there be time?  There cannot be.

So time is intimately tied to the first distinction. Isn’t it? 

And so I turn to you, Club.

[trouble tuning in, getting another cup of coffee]

The Club: We are here. You are over simplifying this, and are bringing preconceived notions to this. Remember, it is not just time, but time-space [or spacetime].  The time-space tied to THIS present, with all its pasts and futures.  So “by the time” the present got set, was chosen, all of its space and time structure is set.

Now, having said this, in the primal state, which you call a hologram or the net of Indra, it is true that all is one and each part contains all others.  So distinction is not there – even though there are ALL parts in all combinations.  Here, time does fall away [as does space, etc]: it is all parts, and all times, and all possibilities.  It is All-that-Is and ever was and ever can be.

So when a distinction is made and a ripple appears in the great ocean mirror [referring to a buddhist metaphor], it all gets set of in motion, time and space come out for that present, for that sub-consciousness and matter.  [sub-consciousness = a subset of universal consciousness]. So, yes, it is tied to the first distinction: I vs. it.  Then the whole space, and time, and matter and sub-consciousness fall into place and into this present.  So yes, without distinction, there is no time [nor space or matter].


I don’t know where to take this.

Why take it anywhere?  Can’t you just be?  In a timeless moment?

[I just sit there for a moment, trying that]  But how can it be?  Even if I suspend my thinking and just sit here, I still feel myself breathing.  You know, the breath is used in meditation to still the mind, but it then becomes the focus of my awareness.

Breath is a gate of truth. It is not the truth itself, but an access to it.  Everything pulsates that is alive. Only the All-that-Is is perfectly still.  The trick is to lose yourself in the breath.

OK, this goes too much into meditation this morning.  The topic, though, should be time.

Oh but it is!

Bad connection this morning, it does not flow.

You don’t LET it flow. Now, just write down as it comes.

OK, I’ll try.

Not try, do!  Verbatim.  
So, meditation and time.  The thing is, you meditate, but not to the point of a skilled meditator.  Your awakening was not induced through mediation. But go back to that moment when you merged with it all.  
At that point, you were desire-less. That was the access.  There was no more desire that stirred the “cosmic ocean”, and so it could become that perfect mirror.  [again, the Buddhist metaphor].
A desire is an emotion, “to move outwards,” or a movement of the psyche in general.  It moves you away from or towards some object.  So it in itself is based in time:  a movement, a force, an energy build up, some potential energy that transforms into kinetic movement in time.  
So here is your deeper understanding of physics…  [In physics, kinetic energy, force, and movement (momentum, velocity, and acceleration) are all inter-related].
Potential energy is not based on time but on position, or in this case, a state. The emotion is a state, internally, that gets translated into movement, psychic [or psychological] movement that drives you and exerts a force in the system.

OK. I hear you as all these terms spew out.  Let’s refocus, please.

OK. So this potential becomes expressed as a time sequence, the potential that arises out of seeing the “I vs. it”, and thereby stirring a desire towards or away [from “it”].  Then if there is no desire, there is no movement, and “you” can remerge with “it.”

So time gets “born” because of this? [as do space, matter, (sub)consciousness]


So how does this work with meditation?

They key here is to calm the mind as well. No desire is one key.  But meditation eliminates the mental chatter, evens the playing field so to speak. 
Now, don’t drift!


And the breath is just the means for it.  After some time, you don’t register the breath either, and it is all just calmness.   [For example, in Vipassana mediation, you register body sensations (breath, pain, etc) but do not follow the normal conditioning to act on them.  You simply notice, and let it be. This is equanimity. ]

I’m sorry, I’m having trouble staying tuned in.

No problem, “the time is not right!

Hmm, an interesting expression.

Isn’t it, it implies there is a time and space of everything.

And I have not chosen to be in that space?

Now you are on to something.

So “the total situation” has to be conductive to the event.

Precisely. And you are not here yet or right now.

So it is an internal state?

What is internal? External? The whole has to be conductive.

We had this before:  conductive.*  To conduct, so that it can flow seamlessly.  And obviously that is not the case….
We could stop.  *[I looked it up afterwards again, conduct means to “lead together”]

You are close, just try to push it a bit further.

Can’t you just tell me? (smiling)

No, then it would not be yours.  We can only point in a direction – which we have been doing.  So ponder it.

The key point seemed to be that it is not just time, but time-space-matter-consciousness.  And I get “shih”again, the Buddhist notion of a thing-event.

Yes, and it really contains All, expressed into and through this shih, including the next alternatives for choice.  And so it goes…

So to suspend all this, you have to suspend choice?

But that is but another choice! You see?  We smile.  If you truly suspended choice, all would stop.


So if a shih is time-space-matter-(subset)consciousness of “this moment,” “this space,” etc. then the access is really any of these four (or more? ) items.  So consciousness, my consciousness is an access to suspending time, my time.  Similarly, setting up space and matter, that is my immediate surroundings can also be an access?

Now, you are getting very close.  That’s basically what gates of truth do. You adjust one of the “parameters” so that the total situation becomes conductive to merging with the whole. And that is what meditation does: it works with the consciousness component. We say “component” as in the unfolded [subset of] consciousness.  Now, matter and space and time you do not have direct control over in the way you have over “your consciousness.” But since it ties together, “your consciousness” can affect the others as well.

Interesting, because it leaves the door open to manipulate matter as well!   

Well, we had this in placebo and “magic” [ see earlier article, how believe can affect health, thus matter].

OK, there is disturbance in the house now… Better stop.

An easy out, yes?

Yes, I admit to it, today was tough going.  Until next time.

9:40 a.m.

Afterwards: The key part I got out of this:  you can’t just separate out time and ask “how does time come to be?” It is intimately linked with the other parts, space, matter and consciousness.

Namaste — I bow to you and the Divine in you.

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