I dedicate this site to the memory of my stepdaughter, Heather, who was murdered on Thanksgiving 2017. I want to chronicle some of the events and spiritual insights that happened. It is my hope that this may help some other souls who stumble upon this site. Maybe some good can come off this after all (read more here).  ~ May 2018

Part 3: Choosing bad things to happen: accidents and grand plans and co-creators

This is the continuation of a previous article, part 3 of a three part series, on why bad things happen to good people.

Please read part 1 here, and part 2 here.

The basic premise is that there is no fate or predestination, and that at all moments we have choice and free will.  If so, then why in the world would somebody choose to be murdered?  Or have an accident, or an illness?

In the preceding article (part2), I looked at how choice may be a part for the victim, murderer, and survivors.

Accident or Grand Plan: it depends on how you look at it.

So for all involved, if we can look at the same event from different angles, then different realities come into view.  It is just like TGU said (in part 1):  In a dream, the viewpoint is fluent, the ground can shift, and thereby reality does change:

  • If you look at it from our 3D existence, it all seems like a horrific accident.  This is our normal take on this in 3D.
  • If we look at the same event from the soul’s perspective, we might say, this tragedy afforded us and the greater system with an opportunity:  to learn to make the most out of this tragedy.

    So from the greater viewpoint, there is a grander scheme to it.

  • And this grander scheme applies to all involved: victim, murderer and survivors: we all chose individual paths that brought us to that common event, because everything is connected.

    And that points to an even grander level and scheme, which to us will be the hardest to accept: at that grandest of all levels, of All-That-Is or God, everything is one, and the murderer, victim, and survivors are all the same “Being,” and each brings a different perspective to the whole. This is where love and forgiveness lives

All these viewpoints and realities may be equally valid, and it all depends on how you view it.

To me, this brings to mind Rumi’s poem:

I saw grief drinking a cup of sorrow
and called out,
It tastes sweet, does it not?

You have caught me, grief answered,
and you have ruined my business.

How can I sell sorrow,
when you know it's a blessing?

It suggests that even the hardest moments in life can hold a kernel of opportunity. I read this poem in January 2018, just a few weeks after Heather was murdered, and I got so upset that I threw the book down in rage. “How dare you say that?”  I was looking at it from the 3D viewpoint, of a horrible unjust accident.

Now, with more than a year of distance, it all still hurts. Grief is still there. But maybe I can see some kernel of truth in it it.  
Here may be a way to look at it:  this is our way, a way filled with hard life challenges and tragedies, and we must learn to be with those tragedies.  And through this, we can help others, may it be in this same lifetime (as I am trying to do with my own feebly attempt right now), or as a new soul strand to be used by other lives to come.

But it goes even deeper.

Not bystanders, but co-creators

A few nights ago, I watched an episode of Star Trek Discovery (Season 2, Episode 5), and it ended with Michael Burnham stating it so poetically:

“And if there is a great hand that guides us into an uncertain future, I can only hope it guides us well.”

So again, is this all not the same as putting all our faith into a higher power which sees things that are hidden from us, and we hope that in some larger picture it all makes sense?  Is it not again the old mantra of “God has a plan for all of us, and His ways are inexplicable?”

But I think there is something different here:  it is not a way any longer in which we are only pawns or bystanders in some grand plan, but a way in which we are given the opportunity to shape back reality.  

And I don’t mean just this physical life, but the grand reality that includes All-D, all the way up to All-That-Is and God.
Because it works both ways:  We are connected to All-D, getting input, help and guidance from “above.”  But at the same time it works the other way as well:  what we do here in 3D has impact on the greater system, we help to shape it.

It is through our actions, day by day, moment by moment, choice by choice, of how we learn to deal with such tragedy,  that will allow the greater whole to grow.

In that sense, we are co-creators in a divine plan.

Is any of this true?  I can’t say.   But for me, it’s a quantum of solace.  Grief is still here, and will be here the rest of my life. But I do see some pragmatic value.  Is it fair?  Not from our 3D point of view; maybe from a grander one. Maybe, to some reader, this will also help to provide a sliver of meaning again.

I typically end my posts with “Namaste,” but this time I truly mean it with the deepest reverence:

Namaste — I bow to you and the Divine in you.

Related: Read these after


You might be interested in reading Robert Schwartz, Your Soul's Plan, which began with an inquiry much like yours.

Yes, thank you, Frank, for pointing out this book. I read it after Heather's death and completely agree.

For those readers who may not know "Your Soul's Plan," let me say a few words. Many books in recent decades approached the subject of the soul through past-life regressions under hypnosis. Mr. Schwartz works with mediums instead, who can channel the deceased.  At first I was hesitant about this approach, but as I read the testimonies, I found them so powerful and coherent and I came to believe that this cannot be made up.   

Besides the many helpful and healing insights, the chapter I found most interesting was when they spoke to an oversoul. It allowed me to think past the traditional view of a linear soul progression. That was one of the key realizations.

There is a part in that section where the oversoul says "I can place a soul into any time period,"  which made me question our normal concept of a linear and singular timestream, and subsequently allowed me to accept concepts such as probable selves and probable worlds.

The book lead me to read Ian Thompson’s “Supersoul”, which mentions you, Frank, and then on to your own books, such as “Cosmic Internet.”   So Mr. Schwartz’s book was an important influence in this ongoing journey.

As far as the subject matter of this series of articles is concerned, that is. ‘Why do bad thinking happen to good people,” I think I incorporated many of Mr. Schwartz’s findings implicitly.  But the book does not directly address murder.  Any death is hard, but murder is in a different category, at least for me, because it implies a conscious intent.  So "Your Soul's Plan"  did not quite answer my own questions, and that is why I am trying to look deeper into the subject matter.

Thank you for sharing your path and your thoughts on the nature of being. I have just discovered and will be reading through your site in days ahead. I have read many of Frank DeMarco's books as part of a similar quest, stated with the death of my son. For the "Supersoul" book do you mean Ian Lawton... I cannot find Thompson...

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss; just know I understand. This blog exists in part to help people in those situations, and my hope is that you or others can find some solace.

As far as the book: Yes, it is Ian Lawton.

His book, "Supersoul,"  is actually interesting in that he starts writing it from the perspective of the interlife literature (Life Between Life regressions).  But then, while writing the book, he read "Cosmic Internet"  and that shows him a completely different way of seeing things, which makes him doubt his previous findings in that book project.  He then tries to reconcile the two views, but admits that it may need more work. 

I think this is true: this reconciliation needs more thoughts.  Clearly, we can't just throw away all the material from the interlife research. There are definetly overlaps with DeMarco/TGU/Rita.  At this writing, I think that the interlife is just too narrow a view on something grander, which people under regression do not have access to.  So it is our task (my task? ) to properly build the bridge that links them.  It's on my endless list of thing to do...

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